When you faced with a diagnosis of HSV1 or HSV2, there can be a variety of concerns and questions. Many will naturally worry, “How do I tell someone I have herpes?” Or, “Can I still date someone if I have herpes?” These questions are natural concerns, but do your best to remove these doubts from your mind.
While the initial reaction may be one of surprise and fear, understand that having herpes will not prevent you from living a full and healthy life. Admittedly, there may be some adjustment, but that doesn’t equate to you not being able to have a normal dating life or maintain a long-term relationship.
We will then discuss further how to maintain a healthy relationship, how to approach dating with a positive attitude, and also how to fill your life and energize your days. For people with HSV1 and HSV2, these are all ways to move forward in a positive way and live a fulfilling life.
What should I do if I find out I have herpes?
There are many unexpected challenges in our lives. When you find out you have herpes, the news may come as a shock. Observations such as anger, embarrassment, shame, and uneasiness may come up. Most of the emotions involved in this process are normal. However, this does not mean that your life will be turned upside down. Despite the fact that herpes is a lasting disease, you can still maintain your relationships and live the life you desire.
Herpes is very common worldwide and millions of people have the same disease as you. Herpes is just a part of your body, it doesn’t define who you are. It doesn’t make you “dirty” and it doesn’t mean you are a bad person. You’re just an ordinary person, but at the same time your body carries this widespread virus.
Herpes is not a deadly virus. While herpes outbreaks may trigger some discomfort and even pain, the initial outbreaks are usually the worst. It’s worth noting that this discomfort usually decreases over time as the number of outbreaks decreases and may eventually stop altogether. The virus is permanently present in your body, but that doesn’t mean you’ll always be in a state of flare-ups.
Once you find out that you have herpes, your first priority should be to find the best treatment option. If you have just learned the news, you may be skeptical and have mixed emotions. At this time, it is essential to find places where you can vent your feelings, for example, you may choose to talk to a close friend about your worries or join a support group for people with herpes to hear how others are dealing with the problem.
There are three important golden rules to keep in mind when you are stepping into the dating scene with herpes:
- Be honest about your condition before the relationship deepens any further.
- Don’t wait until you’re already too close to your new partner or in a stressful situation to tell them you have herpes.
- You are looking for someone who can respect you and the decision you made to disclose your herpes condition, and that respect will show in all aspects of your relationship.
Tips on dating people with herpes
- Understanding Herpes: There are many avenues online to understand what herpes is and the key to overcoming any negative thoughts or fears about this virus. Many people live with the herpes virus and it has not seriously affected their lives or relationships.
- Open communication: Before you become intimate, it is important that you are able to discuss your partner’s condition calmly. This allows both parties to enter the situation with knowledge and consent.
- Safe practices: The use of condoms, oral diaphragms and antiviral medications can greatly reduce the risk of transmission. Remember: Herpes can be spread through skin-to-skin contact, not just through sexual intercourse.
- Emotional support: If your partner is honest with you about their condition, they trust you. Your emotional support is especially needed during an outbreak, which can strengthen your bond.
- Not making it a big deal: if your partner is comfortable with their condition and manages it well, there is no need to make it a big deal in your relationship. Just take the necessary precautions and keep enjoying your relationship afterwards.
Can you get married and have children with herpes?
Absolutely. Herpes does not affect a marriage or having children.
First of all, herpes is a common viral infection and it doesn’t stop you from getting married or affect your married life. Millions of people are infected with the herpes simplex virus, millions of people get married and have children, and it’s no big deal because it has zero effect on your ability to have children. It can be well managed and controlled with medication and by avoiding sex during an outbreak.
Secondly, herpes does not affect your fertility. The main concern about having a child is that the mother may transmit herpes to her newborn during labor and delivery. In this case, doctors usually recommend starting antiviral medications closer to the due date to reduce the chances of developing the condition. If there are signs of herpes infection during labor, your doctor may recommend that you have a cesarean section to avoid transmitting it to your baby.
So, while herpes may require some extra consideration and management on your part in certain areas, it will not stop you from realizing your desire to marry and have children. In any case, you should consult with your doctor to ensure that you are making the best decision possible on this issue.